Balls Behaving Badly



Yeah, we're bad!  What's it to ya, Net?

My earlier posts describe the fun and excitement experienced by virgin tennis balls, unleashed on court for the very first time.  These are the flirtatious, carefree, naive, unmarred newbies that claim the spotlight momentarily.   They are debutantes ushered in while an  announcement of their arrival booms over the loudspeaker,  "New Balls" and pause is given for the can opening ceremony.
I followed that up with a candid expose of the hierarchy of balls.  The hierarchy is a much kept secret among players--an embarrassing commentary on a dismal reality in an otherwise prestigious sport.  The truth is that the working class balls are under appreciated and relegated to a life of  indentured service as walker bumpers, dog toys, and parking assistants. 

The topic of balls behaving badly rarely comes up either.  There is so much talk during the televised tennis matches about the professional players, Rafael Nadal, Roger Federer, Novak Djokovic, Serena Williams, Marion Bartoli, Maria Sharapova and their amazing abilities.  Little attention is given to the bad boys of tennis--the incorrigible, defiant, traitorous rebel-balls that make their appearance all too often, thwarting the strokes of even the highest ranked athletes at the US Open, Wimbledon, French Open, Australian Open.

The antics of these wayward delinquents include the following:

1. refusing to clear the net (no matter how skillfully coaxed)
2. returning time and time again to the alley during singles, where no good can come of their mischief
3. attempting to get attention by engaging in extreme sport maneuvers (i.e. leaping to heights comparable to outer space, resulting in head-on collisions with lamp posts and retractable roofs)
4. occasionally they form an unlikely alliance with the otherwise adversarial net, and resist the serve, dropping mockingly into their own service box.  "Fault!" they hear and feel devious satisfaction.  When they repeat their rebellious act, resulting in "double fault" they feel inwardly MORE devilish, their little green faces remaining grinless, expressionless, poker-face perfect 
5. challenging bigger, stiffer, more durable opponents--the mighty racquets (what are these balls thinking?) 

That's just it, they aren't thinking!  Like juvenile delinquents they challenge the authority of the masters, aforementioned Djokovic, Williams, Nadal, Bartoli, etc.  They engage in risky behaviors, without one ounce of consideration for the consequences.  There may be no reforming these guys.  The tennis community (balls, racquets, nets, players and coaches alike) has to embrace their behavior as a component of a whole.  We need to be accepting and forgiving.  We need to steer them over the net and between the lines and hope for more compliance than not.  A gentle reminder that their mishaps are now caught on camera to be revealed at a moment's notice may be the best deterrent ever invented!